This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

you were gone
before you let me
say
goodbye

pushed me out the back door
when i asked you one last
time

laughed and said it was all
in
my
head

and now i laugh
at
the
love
thats
dead

2 am is early
to bed
late to sleep
i can’t
help
to find defeat
in this bed

surrounded
by nothingness again
and again

just skeletons
to rude to hide
in a closet
and dirty toenails
diggin at my skin
underneath
this dirty bed sheet

again and again
and again

inside that house lives
a life i’d rather leave
instead i’ll carry in
1,000 dead
roses and make
it through another
night with her

soured on the seas
of a tumultuously
angry river of love
i could drowned
or drowned her
or capsize the god damn
world

everything is fucked
she’s fucked
i’m fucked
the only
thing is
its not the good
kind of fucked

but i brought flowers today
maybe that will
shut her up

happy birthday,
baby.

didn’t turn back
nothing to see
i was passed out
with a needle
in my arm

dull
the life style
we had fallen into
and the love
we fell out of

the pain
was all around
these four
walls and
a table top
we haven’t seen in
forever

you choked the
life out of this
she yelled

apparently
so i said

but i remember when
you liked to be
choked

who
saw
this
coming

they all said

“sure, pretty girl, whats wrong?”

silence on the phone
is like frozen film
on a screen

“i’m late”

but sometimes there’s
times when silence
is your best option
when you cannot think

“i didn’t know you were coming over,”
i said, joking.

silence also contains
the elements of fear,
both of us not wanting
to say something that
would hurt the other

we weren’t at that place
in our relationship yet

“we’ll figure it out, baby”
is all I said.

she bled a few days later,
but the foundations had been
cracked.

what we were doing,
was just killing time,
till it came time to
start living

and another living, breathing
person scared her more
then hurting me

that’s what i’m thinking on
Fathers day.

then another
and another

three eggs, scrambled in
a pot you brought
when you came
home

again

frying bacon permeates
the staleness of the
air contained
within the walls
of the home
you came back
to

again

breaking the skin,
i pull the oranges
life out from its
body

juice explodes from
the fruit and into
my eye

and all over my hands
running down
my arms

and you clean me
up, like you usually
do

when we explode
from the fruit
in our eyes.

her tummy rumbles,
we didn’t eat
got lost in ourselves
i need another drink
of her

she jabbers in her sleep,
i hold my breath, to here what she thinks,
it’s jibberish and beautiful,
i think,
boy, i sure could use another
drink
of her

she was a lovely lady
that i met while
stealiing books
from a flea market
in the middle of a
triple digit
heatwave on the west
coast of florida

she was a narcoleptic
skitzophrenic nymphomaniac

she stole the month of february
from me
on a leap year no less

things were great through
the first four dates
but then she’d start
falling asleep while
i was climbing in
then she’d yell
rape when her
meds kicked off

did i mention we were
perpetually broke and
her parents didn’t approve
of our one month fling
from the start

and it was probably my
fault the night
she fell asleep
at their anniversary
party – 50 years
and she passed out
in her soup

but i think in some
way she was my soul
mate -

but it’s cheaper, safer and
easier just to masterbate.

forget about him
forget about herrr

never was about me
never about youuu
but we gonna use it
anway

anyway

anyway

we gonna use it anyway

rebound mother fucker
you never wanted to be here
took my love
took it whole
took it deep inside
your soul

never was about you
never about meeeee
but we gonna
do it anyway
anyway

anyway

broken hearted
all over
pain mother fucker
will never leave me
never leave you

cuz we never
wanted to be here
anyway