goes like

“i should be sleepin”
or something like that.

“i should stop drinkin”
is what i’m thinkin now
it’s 5 hours till
i gotta get up to go to
that place i don’t want to go to

i know i’m lucky
to have a place to make
greenbacks
but
its
getting

harder to walk threw dem’ doors
when i could easily just
walk away

from it all

lucky max and gaeb need someone
to beat up
trey and logan

so i dont smile
as to not
prod it into
action

but
know
that i
smile whenever
i see you

when i breath you
in
or feel you
next to me

i may speak
slow
too
sometimes
same reason
why

its not you
it’s the
broken tooth

takes 10 minutes
to get across the
room … used to
run through walls
for the hell of it

he is suffering
how long do i
let it go on

he is hurting
he won’t cry
though

his bark is loud,
and beautiful
still
he is suffering

and my heart is broken
if it was ever not
how long can we
let it go on

wake up man
its not the way
your going the wrong way
can’t you see brother

time to stop with
childhood dreams time to
dance with the reality
that the reality doesn’t
give a fuck what you want

your the bitch
and reality is your
only way out of this hell hole

put away the toys
put away the joys
put away old friends
and bury the memories

they don’t mean shit
on a credit report

now take note
i’m not doin this to hurt
you

it may seem i’m breaking
your balls

but i can’t be here
forever
for you

for anyone

gotta stand man
be proud mother fucker,
be strong
you can man

you know he’s full of
shit
i said

so are you,
she replied
and i fuck you

i had the trout
and she dunked
fries in a milkshake
made of something
non dairy

did you remember to
pay the rent
is all i could come up with

kept staring at the wall
of this eatery
nothing else
to say

she was off making sugar angels
on the table next to us

and she’d fuck
wolf blitzer
too

but i find, when i do
teeter off into the
deepest confines of my
elaborate mind

i dream the strangest dreams

last night i had a dream
about a situation
in which two lives
intertwined

and it was fine
so fine
like wine
red , to be exact

with the sun burning down our
bodies

it was a new dream
not the usual dream
with the usual
lead actress

and it was innocent
very loving actually
and i didn’t want to
wake up

but i did

i wondered if
two people could possibly
have the same dream
at the same time

and if she did
what she thought

not that it would change
anything, but it would
certainly change everything

inside that small
no room apartment

we provided the electric
and the garbage
just paid for the
four walls and a
bathroom that stank

like dead squirrels in
a rain trough

she’d play with her hair when
the future was up in the air,
or the dog farted
parting our
three way conversation
in the morning

but that’s what family
does, so they say

dog breath in the morning,
and then the two of us
snoring.

and i found out late in life
that i was good at
floundering in the hot wet sand

i’ve never been good
at anything though
cept running from
reality

and chasing dreams
that turned into nightmares
on cold dry dirt

and maybe that’s why it
hurts when
i hear laughter
or see a smile
taste a grape
from the nape
of your stomach

because i’ll never
be what you need
when your my hot
wet, sand
beneath me.

with rusty needles you
disregard my health

my life

i only wish to make you
smile again and again

as you recoil
and retrieve the steak you
stuck into me

my heart drips black
blood that went bad
from the last one
that

struck me
dead

if i’m the clown
you wish to frown upon
after laughing over
silly squabbles that led
us to this very moment

mounted freely on this
fresh green marsh that we

made love on
and pondered the future
while fondling the now
with regretful kisses
and echo-less heart beats

well then i hope this fucking
land floods
and nothing is left standing
but my black blood
on tainted water

killing everything
underneath
and hiding you from those
above

the buzz of the bee
inside my belly bellows
benevolent sound, in the
hollow stomach you fill
with your bountiful beauty.

thank you