another day of toiling the
sands of war on the
work front

surrounded by disease and
faith i hang my head so no one
can see my blood shot eyes

from the night before.

i stumble 30 yards to the
time card, the
whore i’ve been seeing
for seven years now

i hate her – i’d leave her,
but where would i go
she pays to well
and i need money
to buy the beer
to make this
feel a little less
like
hell

all around me
pests shoot “hello’s and how are ya’s”
while they worry about the car payment
the electric bill
the babies rash
their impotence
the sex affair
the balding in their
once long, lush hair

crows and spiders
have taken over
as they sag
and gag
me with their

perfumes and
rings on each finger
hoping to catch a fly
in their trap

not this guy
not this time
not again

“good morning, Denny”

i ignore the gesture
of moving this from
walking to the electric
chair for a bit of conjecture

“Denny, don’t you hear me?”

“I hear you just fine – do you know me?”

“i see your name on your badge”

“Oh, this”, i say – yeah, i used to be him
before you vultures stole my soul

clocked in
she stared

eight more hours.

but you can’t let it
go
keep carrying on
like i slept with
your sister
on prom night

and maybe i did
but that was 16 years
ago

i don’t bring up
the fact you
left the house
this morning
without
waking me
for
breakfast
even
though it’s scientifically
proven
to be the
most important meal
of the day

and that’s why
we sit here
in the burger king
drive thru

and your embarrassed that
i ordered a
triple whopper w/cheese.

she didn’t see me standing there
dying inside
she didn’t seem to care
what she was doing
she didn’t care to tell
me that she was …..

i bought a ticket
from greyhound
bags packed headed
west bound
for florida
maybe georgia
kentucky
doesn’t matter now

doesn’t matter where i’ll
go

just sadness now
where love used to be
i can’t look at her
can’t seem to get the
image out of my mind
can’t forget the sounds
of the pleasure
that caused me so much pain

what am i supposed to do
when i was so close to being
gone

what if
what if it’s mine
what if

and we sat and sat and sat
throughout the afternoon, waiting forever
for the brown doctor
with the broken english
to tell you the position you are in

she started to cry, clutching
my arm tightly as the doctor
rewrote our future with words

i couldn’t understand
didn’t want to understand
couldn’t bare to hear

we drove and drove and drove
all night, endlessly staring
out the window of a sinking
ship that would drowned us.

stroke of the razor
and another
as she sat on the throne
looking at her phone

“whats’ wrong”
as i nicked my neck
on the edge of the razor

“I think ..”

blood came spilling out of the
little cut above my
jugular

“i’m pregnant”

heart stopped pumping
underneath my
chest

“really”

i said as she
stared at her phone
while i held some
toilet paper too my
neck.